I honestly really hope you know that when I see you out in public, Im beating the shit out of you. All you do is hide behind a computer screen and twitter. 

All I wanna do is lay on my hammock im buying, sip budlight RITA (SO good,) and read so many books. 

Not everything is my fault, as he likes to put blame upon myself. I believe we stayed together for so long, because at some point I was afraid to be alone. I vowed up and down to never be that girl. But, everything became familiar and so routine, no effort was made on my part. I became bored out of my mind, and I dragged you around in a sense to preserve a happiness I pretended to have. 

But the biggest issues, I was afraid of never knowing another person who would know me as well as he did. He knew all of me.What if no one relates to me as he did? What if no one has the same sense of humor as me? What if we don’t connect like we did? What if I just lost my best friend? What if he was the one?

I just need better closure, and a better understanding. My mind goes back and fourth. 

I don’t know how its so easy for you to forget everything, like it never happened. You can’t even be angry towards me, or anything for that matter. I’m stressed beyond belief, because it feels like there is a big pit in my stomach. I’m fine one day, even happy. Then at random days like today, I feel terrible. Like my gut is at the bottom of my stomach.

I will get through this. 

I kinda want to go on a far away drive with someone for a few hours or two. 

Blaring every single DGD album, followed by Jonny Craig. Then our own little mix of classics that have played through out the years. It may be a waste of gas, but it sounds so comforting at this point in time.